To Live

 To live, the Human life, and to discern between laws, mores, cultural abnormalities, and the inept view is the internet… must all be part of it. 

To live, when you want to not, is a load often too heavy for one person's shoulders to bear. Yet the world expects them to put that heavy burden on someone else. I suffer from cluster migraines and wouldn't wish one on the worst person… often knowing a pain prevents you from hoping it afflicted anyone else, suicidal thoughts and tendencies are no different.

To live, when others worry so much and share that with you and what it is doing to them, is often agonizing. Another burden to add to the already heavy load, the weight of our burden on someone else. There are a myriad of ways to look at a situation and more even are the possible solutions available. Realistically, you cannot ask a person in any situation to think any other way than they are. It is the circumstances that land a person in a situation that form the framework from which they select thought and feeling. To negate their particular circumstance for the sake of a conversation is like asking the waterways to not have water when there are floods. 

To live, understanding the end all scenario that awaits us all, feels ridiculous. Amass wealth and power, love and happiness, great memories, and so on for the sake of all disappearing upon our death and furthermore, completely gone in but a few generations. I sometimes feel those who say suicide is the easy way out understand depression like a child understand the rocket design of spacecraft. Easy to annul the painting which an artist put heart and soul towards with a new quip, not so easy to pick up the painting tools and doing it oneself.

To live, putting heart and soul into every situation and be met with failure after failure as the reward for giving out your all, is devastating. Life isn't meant to be a simple stroll down an empty sidewalk, especially if you have a missing limb or both. Yet, it is widely held that a nice walk can calm things a bit, bring a type of serene feeling to an otherwise tumultuous affair. Sure, if you like to walk, or have your legs, or you haven't had anyone in your life raped as they walked to a place, or have had someone impaled by falling debree, or…  you get my point I hope. Just saying whatever comes to mind merely because your particular circumstances are such that you have not undergone the terrible scrutiny of suffering and sorrow in your life as others is plain and ignorant. I welcome you to the real world, where you're not the only inhabitant.

To live, when you become a burden, is unfair. Work hard throughout life to have something to fallback on only to be met with a diagnosis of  Parkinson's disease, Lou Gehrig's disease, Alzheimer's disease, or other. What a financial burden. To say that if you love someone this or that sounds pathetic, the reality is the reality, financial strain; that is to say, if you live in a country where you have to bear the responsibility of healthcare. Complaining sure is easy but no easier than judging others for their views and beliefs.

To live, merely to live, I can't do it. To kill another creature just to go it, revenge/vengeance, or anything really for the sake of itself is empty. We don't understand the psychopath because they lack feelings but can mimic them. Who is the better person, the psychopath pretending to feel it the normal person pretending to be something they're not? Being normal is so overrated and underwhelming. Yet, who am I to say something is one way or the other? I exhort you to pose that question to yourself for as long as you choose to live.